I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Pappa wants mamma naked
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
