If that was your dad, he is hot
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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