all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
