Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
