Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Randomize