i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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