problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
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