how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
