Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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