I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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