You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Randomize
