talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
