I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
