I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
