This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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