Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
