There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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