New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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