Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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