I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
