how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Randomize