Me. At least after what I've been through.
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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