Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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