lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
