Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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