Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Randomize
