First date: that requires underwear, huh?
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
