First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
