I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize