ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
