I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
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