i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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