Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
