Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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