I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Randomize
