It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
