it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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