i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Randomize
