he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
