Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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