Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Randomize
