found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
