so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Randomize
