Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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