I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Randomize
