I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
