everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
