Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
