Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Say something about gay babies.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
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