I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
