wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
