Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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