I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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