and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I have post one night stand depression
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