Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Randomize
