OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
