Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
