that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
