Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
