You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
