I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
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