Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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