hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Randomize
