your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
