i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Welp...herpes.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
