told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize