That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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