You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
His hands were made for my vagina.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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