You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
