so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
