I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
