I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize